5 Tips For Easing Holiday Stress

by Janine Agoglia

This season tends to be packed: holiday parties, shopping, family gatherings, last minute chaos.

I hear many people saying, "if I can just get through the next few weeks...." This is a stressful time of year for many reasons, but it doesn't have to be. While stress always exists in our lives, and tends to amp up around the holidays, the experience of stress is all in the mind. Thankfully, because the experience is in the mind, we can learn to control and shift how we experience stress. It won't stop your Mother in Law from judging you, but it can shift how much you allow this to affect you.

Notice I wrote "allow." Our experience of stress is all about what we allow into our mental realm. The stronger a hold something has on you, the more it will affect how you feel. There is a saying:

"Ships don't sink because of the water around them.
They sink because of the water that gets in them."

If you allow what's happening around you to weigh you down, you will go down. If you let the stress that is around you stay around you, but not penetrate your boundaries, it won't have the same effect. This is sometimes easier said than done, but with practice, we can learn to better control what makes us crazy and what doesn't.

5 tips to managing stress:

1. Breathe. The number one thing that you can do for yourself to help manage stress is breathing. Breathing is something you can do in the moment when you are feeling stressed, or in anticipation of a stressful encounter. Taking 5 deep, slow breaths calms the nervous system and helps you feel more grounded in the moment. Try to have your inhale and exhale be of equal lengths, or try to exhale longer than you inhale. Intentionally breathing in and out through the nose is a great way to get back into your body and bring you into the moment; it is in the present where you find peace of mind.

2. Meditation. This practice helps us to be present and focus on what is actually happening. Sometimes we create our own stress by anticipating what could happen (even though it may or may not) or rehashing things that have already happened; this takes us out of the present and sends  us into the future or the past where we have no control. We can only control the present, so by practicing meditation we are teaching the mind to be here with what is actually happening. Letting go of our imaginings and ruminations helps us release anxiety and regret in exchange for a deeper sense of peace and calm. A simple meditation is watching your breath. Instead of controlling it or breathing in any particular way, you just notice what is already happening. When you find your mind being drawn to thoughts of the past or the future (like your to do list), pause and go back to noticing your breath. Try not to criticize yourself for letting your mind wander. The mind will wander. When you notice that it has, just bring it back to your breath. The process of noticing is what matters and what offers you that feeling of center. With practice, the mind wanders less and you are less bothered when it wanders. Start with a 3 minute practice once or a few times per day and notice how you feel.

3. Yoga and Exercise. Movement is key during times of stress. When you move your body, you release endorphins that make you feel good. Appropriate, moderate exercise can calm your mind and energize you so that you are ready to take on whatever needs to get done. Yoga is a great exercise since it incorporates breathing into movement, but going for a run or taking a spin class can improve your mood and your ability to cope with whatever life is bringing you. Too much exercise can add to your stress by raising cortisol levels, so pay attention to how you feel afterward. If you feel wiped out by your exercise choice, maybe choose something more mindful or meditative. The exercise you choose should be fun and should bring joy into your life. If it stresses you out to go to the gym, try something else, like dancing in your living room or going for a walk in the woods. Just move your body!

4. Procrastination vs Action. When we feel stressed, we often put off doing certain things because it's too much to handle right now. However, the act of procrastination actually creates more stress and anxiety, especially when you put things off until the very last minute. Having something hanging over your head creates a constant low level of stress that increases the more you put it off. Creating an action step, even a small one, can greatly reduce your experience of stress. Look at what you are putting off and see if there is one small thing that you can do toward completing your task. It might be as small as setting a time in your calendar to sit down and find a time to do the task. Once you are able to look at your calendar and figure out a time when you can do the task, schedule that. If you have a large task to do, break it into smaller pieces, then try to accomplish just one of those pieces. Suddenly this huge thing hanging over your head has far less power over you.

5. Journaling. Stream of consciousness writing (by hand) can provide you with an outlet for you feelings. You can write what you feel without censoring and you can often get to the bottom of why something is bothering you or, even better, what you can do about it. If it is a person that is bothering you or causing you stress, writing them a letter (that you never send) and telling them how you feel can often release the hold they have on you and give you a bit more insight on what it is that affects you so much. Understanding yourself and your reactions can be helpful when it comes to dealing with this person in the future. This is also a helpful exercise with letting go of past wrongs, done by yourself or other people. Forgiveness for yourself and others can lead to powerful healing within.

Janine L. Agoglia has been teaching Vinyasa yoga since 1998. Her yoga journey started in 1995 with Iyengar Yoga and she stumbled upon Vinyasa yoga in 1997. The combination of breath with proper body alignment is what fuels Janine's practice and the classes that she teaches. She believes that yoga should be safe as well as challenging, creative and fun. She always emphasizes proper alignment within the flow, as well as focus, breath and humor to help students find the balance between strength and ease. Deepening one’s physical awareness helps one strengthen his/her spiritual awareness and mind-body connection. Janine loves being able to help people deepen their own practices, finding yoga in everyday life, on and off the mat. Her DVD, “Vinyasa Yoga for Regular People” is available for purchase at the front desk at Lumina Mind Body Studios in Wayland, MA.

In addition to being Director of Yoga at Lumina Mind Body Studios in Wayland and Natick, Janine is also a Licensed acupuncturist and Chinese herbalist who practices at Integrative Therapeutics in Natick. To contact Janine, please email her at acuyogamama@hotmail.com.